Can You Wear Jeans To A Funeral Or Wake?

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Can you wear jeans to a wake? This question doesn’t have a clear-cut answer. There are so many factors to consider, like whether you’re attending a traditional funeral service or a more casual service.

When it comes to appropriate funeral etiquette, a good rule of thumb is that it’s better to be overdressed than underdressed. I think this especially applies to a situation like a memorial service where you want to show your respect for an individual and their family.

A wake is technically considered a formal occasion, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that every family will conduct the gathering in a formal way. The dress code changes based on the situation, different groups of people, different religions, and more.

If you have close contact with the family of the deceased person or the person organizing the wake, you can ask them directly what you should wear. Otherwise, I would assume a black dress code.

Remember this when dressing for a funeral when the dress code is not made clear: if you wouldn’t wear it to a job interview, you shouldn’t wear it to a wake or funeral.

Can you wear jeans to a wake or funeral?

2 woman wearing blue jeans and white sandals

Traditional funeral attire definitely did not include casual wear like blue jeans. That doesn’t necessarily mean there are no occasions in the present day at a wake or funeral that jeans would not be appropriate.

While casual clothes like jeans are not typically seen in a funeral home, celebrations of life are becoming more and more common in recent years, and the appropriate attire for these gatherings is often more casual.

If you don’t have anything to wear other than jeans, your presence will be more important than what you’re wearing.

Being there to show your respects to family members is the most important thing. So keep that in mind and don’t stress out too much about what you’re going to wear.

Something else to keep in mind is that a wake is different than a funeral. Many times the wake is not held in a funeral home and may be more relaxed and less formal.

The wake is an opportunity for those who may not be able to attend the funeral to pay their respects.

It could be that this gathering or celebration of life service doesn’t require dress clothes at all and you can check with whoever is organizing the gathering to find out for sure.

Black jeans or dark jeans are also a good choice if jeans are your only option. Dark clothes in general will be the best way to go, no matter what you end up wearing.

What should I avoid wearing?

Even if you have to wear jeans, there are some other things you should try to avoid if you can. Traditionally, black is the color of mourning and conservative clothing is best for a formal event like a wake or funeral.

The key to dressing for a wake or funeral is to be understated and conservative out of respect for the reason you are there.

Try to avoid these things when dressing for this occasion:

Flip Flops
Open Toe Shoes
Athletic Shoes
Athletic Clothing
Short Skirts
Casual Clothing
Animal Prints
Shirts with words or logos
Bright Colors or lighter colors
Too much jewelry
Low-cut dresses or blouses
Heavy perfumes since you’ll be in close quarters with many people
Leggings (Unless worn with something like a dress for warmth)

Solutions for When You Don’t Have a Suit or Dress

Sometimes events come up that we aren’t prepared to dress for because we don’t have to wear anything but casual attire in our daily lives.

Finding good options for a celebration of life ceremony doesn’t mean you have to go out and spend a bunch of money on something you might not wear again for a long time.

Think about the following options if you need something to wear for a wake or funeral.

Borrow a Suit or Dress

Check with your close friends and see if they have something appropriate for you to borrow. This is an ideal option if you have a friend who wears your size since you won’t have to pay a dime and you can just return the clothes to them afterward.

Buy a Secondhand Suit or Dress

Consider a secondhand store to find clothes for the occasion.

If you think about it, there will likely be another occasion like this in the future when you’ll need a simple black outfit for. If nothing comes up, at least you got the outfit at a secondhand price.

Secondhand stores, also known as thrift stores, have come a long way. In most places, there are much more trendy options that go far beyond the variety that you would find at a place like Goodwill.

Most secondhand stores have great options and have everything from casual to formal dress and pants options.

Rent a suit or dress

Rental options may be limited for some, depending on your location, and you may be better off spending the money to actually own the clothing. But if the wake or funeral you are attending requires formal clothing, something like this may interest you.

You can check with a local dress shop that sells wedding attire because they will often rent suits and dresses.

Common Exception

There are some common exceptions to the dress requirements for a wake or funeral.

Even though this is a somber occasion, many people prefer to lighten the mood and really focus on celebrating their loved ones. This could mean a much more relaxed dress code and that will probably be made known in the announcement.

A wake or a funeral is a very personal family gathering and may be personalized for the family of the deceased and in memory of the deceased.

A wake can take place in a funeral home, but it can also be held in a restaurant, bar, church, family home, or any variety of places. The dress code will likely change right along with these different types of venues.

What You Should Wear in Summary

We have talked a lot about what you shouldn’t wear, so let’s talk about what you should wear. There are some simple guidelines to follow that will help you choose your outfit with ease.

These are not rules, but they are generally true of most occasions of mourning.

Dress conservatively to show respect for the family’s loss
Choose darker colors or at least neutral colors
Business casual or more formal is ideal
Skirts or pantsuits, dresses, or trousers with a nice blouse are ideal for women
Skirts should be right at or just above knee length
Wear closed-toe dress shoes or dress winter boots if the weather requires

The most common answers you’ll find about what to wear to a wake or funeral will be to avoid drawing attention to yourself, wear appropriately subdued clothing, avoid flamboyant colors or patterns, and be at least business casual.

Suit Ideas:

Skirts or pants suits are a great option for a wake or funeral because they are business attire, typically not revealing, and give you a neat appearance. A skirt and jacket or pants and a jacket work well in the summer or winter months because the jacket can be removed or added depending on the conditions.

Marycrafts Women’s Business Blazer Pant Suit

SheIn Women’s Two Piece Open Front Long Sleeve Blazer and Elastic Waist Solid Pant Set Suit

Ekaliy Women’s Ruffle Sleeve Vintage Bodycon Peplum Business Formal Work Pencil Dress

Marycrafts Women’s Formal Office Business Work Jacket Skirt Suit Set

YUNCLOS Women’s 2 Pieces Skirt Suit Set Long Sleeve Blazer Jacket and Pencil Skirt

Women’s Double Breasted 2 Piece Suit Set 2 Button Blazer Jacket and Pants

Top Ideas:

When it comes to choosing a blouse, you don’t have to choose black if you don’t want to wear black from head to toe. You can choose other dark colors or a muted color that won’t be too “loud.”

A black suit with a white shirt underneath, for example, is perfect. If the weather is cold you could even opt for a nice sweater or a decorative scarf with a simple or understated pattern or dark color.

Timeson Women’s Long Sleeve Scoop Neck Pleated Front Fitted Blouse Top

Kate Kasin Women’s Bow Tie Long Sleeve Blouse Swiss Dot Shirt

Romwe Women’s Bow Self Tie Scalloped Cut Out Short Sleeve Elegant Office Work Tunic Blouse Top

Chigant Women’s Casual Blouse Bow Tie Shirts V Neck Long Sleeve Chiffon Blouses Office Top

Floerns Women’s Lace Splice Collar Cap Sleeve Office Blouse Top

Trouser/Pant Ideas:

Avoid wearing pants that are very form-fitting or bright. Otherwise, any dress pants will be appropriate for this occasion.

Lee Women’s Flex Motion Regular Fit Trouser Pant

LKOUS Women’s Stretchy High Waisted Wide Leg Button-Down Pants

Conceited Women’s Premium Stretch Bootcut Dress Pants with Pockets

Calvin Klein Women’s Classic Fit Straight Leg Suit Pant

Bamans Women’s Skinny Leg Work Pull on Slim Stretch Yoga Dress Pants w/Tummy Control

Rekucci Women’s Ease into Comfort Bootcut Pant

Dress Ideas:

Dresses are typically the easiest funeral wear because you can always use a black dress for something. Even if you don’t have one already, you will likely benefit from adding one to your wardrobe.

GRACE KARIN Women’s 50s Vintage Pencil Dress Cap Sleeve Wiggle Dress

Oxiuly Women’s Retro Bodycon Knee-Length Formal Office Dresses Work Pencil Dress

Women’s Elegant Vintage Cotton Floral Print A-Line Swing Dress

YATHON Women’s Vintage Floral Flared A-Line Swing Dress

Verdusa Women’s Elegant Ribbed Knit Bell Sleeve Fit and Flare Midi Dress

Zattcas Women Long Sleeve Ribbed Midi Dress

Shoe Ideas:

Your shoes don’t necessarily have to be solid black, but should also follow the conservative colors unspoken rule. If wearing formal pants, of course, wear more formal shoes. Dress boots are also acceptable for a winter funeral.

DREAM PAIRS Tiffany Women’s New Classic Elegant Versatile Low Stiletto Heel Dress Platform Pumps Shoes

Allegra K Women’s Round Toe Stiletto Heel Ankle Strap Pumps

MACKIN J 618-4 Women’s Mary Janes Chunky Platform Cross Strap Dress Pumps

IDIFU Women’s IN4 Chunky-HI Block High Heels Closed Pointed Toe Pumps Dress Shoes for Women

WuORWu Women’s Round Toe Low Platform High Heel Pumps

Sam Edelman Women’s Hazel Water Resistant Pumps

Great Stores To Buy Business Casual Clothes for a Wake or Funeral:

Finding the appropriate clothing for a wake or funeral will be easy at any of these stores! They sell great women’s business casual dress clothes at affordable prices.

You can find a pair of dress pants or a dress that will be a good addition to your wardrobe for many different occasions.